Honesty
Impecably stated, simply put-- Devulgances, confessions, antics, and wispered secrets are what I have long believed to be me. The volnerability one exposes in this type of autobiographical nakedness is trusted to very few. Personal perception dictates the individual reality each of us subscribe to. Acknowledging that we each live in alternate precieved realities causes experiencing many perspectives to become priceless. Only through edifying disscussion can perspectives be shared, through biographical nakedness the perspective comes to life. The self proclaimed bare trueth can't be trusted, on account of people projecting and revieling only a trueth that creates the image of themselves they desire to be presieved by others. I have not projected my desiered image deliberatly in a few relationships. Very few.
Over the past year I have devulged all of my true-self to my closest companions. My personal shortcomings have recieved critasizm. Naturally. As well it seams my failures have been recieved with more dissapointment to others than to myself. Others develop expectations for the people within their perseption. I'll use religion as one example in a sea of ether self-prescribed or peer-prescribed expectations. As a religius individual expectations to always perform in the prescribed behavior of the religion is inevitable. The expectations gone unmet that peers have projected onto me have let the projecting peers down. The peers in my life who's expectations have not been met seam offended. Recognizing my perception of reality will never be perfect I understand I may not see this precieved disstain for my past for what the reality of the reaction is.
The reaction, the words, they poison me. Honesty was going to set me free and instead has bound me to acts I will never do again. Acts that in my mind are now not WHO I am but part of the path that got me WHERE I am. The words "who" and "where" are in no way synonamiss.
If my failure hurts you I will stop hurting you by removing myself from your circle of perception. If my failure provides justification and reassurance that your own shortcomings need not be considered or addressed causing you feelings of relief from a just guilt, I will stop inablaling you and remove myself from your circle of perception. When my attendance in your circle of perception causes hurt or allows for justification my attendance is creating a reality that is not conducive to self-realization.
I recognize a few of my faults and respectully understand there are many I have yet to realize. One I have realized is my inability to spell many symple words. The effort required to learn to spell them seams like a wast of time. Which exposes another shortcoming of mine: slothfulness. If you have snickered and recieved some feeling of satisfaction while finding my spelling errors in these few paragraphs then you are exactly who this letter is directed to. I wish to be encuraged with respect, not made a fool of or taunted for my imperfections. I'm quite accomplished at achieving both those things on my own, no assistance required.
Seeking companions who will encuraged one to do and be better is behavior that will lead to personal progress and success. Spending time with those who degrade and dissable ones character is self-destructive.
One may read this and begin to pick out the imperfections of my logic successfully convincing themselves that I have errored in my dessission. This type of justification via critasizm is the behavior I have been referring to and stands as further evadence in support of my choice to distance myself from your circle of perception.
Fair well dear friends
